We went to breakfast yesterday morning at a place called Lindy's. It looked as if it had been around since the 50's. A drive in type place. I had a corned beef omelet that turned out to be a bunch of stuff scrambled into some eggs. It was okay, but not really what I would call an omelet. Also, grits and a biscuit. And Dr. Pepper.
After breakfast, j^C went to SC to retrieve That Sprout and I went shopping at Kroger. I finally found yahrzeit candles and I bought some Rugehlech. When I got home, I started eating the Rugehlech and watched Peaky Blinders. I feel like all I did yesterday was eat. Very bingy. At one point I thought about making myself throw up.
But then I order pizza and wings. Because that makes sense.
I have gotten to the point where when I eat anything I feel guilty about it. Like I shouldn't have eaten it. This is no way to get along, is it? It's very frustrating. I think about throwing up quite a bit. I don't like it. I'd like to think that if I were to make good choices, this feeling would go away, but then I keep making bad choices, so I have no idea. Also, it seems like I'm not allowing myself to have any slip ups or any . . . decadence? Even really healthy people eat unhealthy food sometimes. It's just that I don't feel like I get to have my sometimes.
I wonder if I'm trading one type of eating disorder for another.
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