We did shoulders, and I really pushed myself. I have noticed that I neither look at myself in the mirror or the trainer while I am working out. I focus on something - anything else.
The workout was fine, although since I was still sick I did not do any cardio. I plan to finish up over the weekend.
The only other thing of note was that when I was finished with my workout we got to talking about how I hadn't met anyone yet and I wound up crying because I miss my old friends.
I am very tired of the twee responses I have heard about my lack of society. It's so hard to explain to someone why I have such a hard time. I don't just want shallow friends. I was to have relationships with people. I want to feel like I am a part of something.
I was reading George Carlin and he said something about groups and why you should be an individual instead of part of a group. Well, I guess Uncle George will just have to be very disappointed in me. All I want - all I have ever wanted - is to be a part of something. I find it very lonely being apart.
:-(
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